Two Hilarious Irish Fables to Show Your Irish Mother...

There is nothing quite like Irish wit, especially that of your typical Irish mammy. I came across these two great pieces, and thought our audience would love them too. 

Mary x

An Irish Mother’s Letter

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can’t read very fast.

You won’t know the house when you come home. We’ve moved.

About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out yet if it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if your an aunt or an uncle.

I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days and then for 4 days.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother’s plot wasn’t paid in 7 days, up she comes.

Your loving Mother.

P.S. I was going to send you 5 pounds, but I have already sealed the envelope."


The Good Catholic Mother

“All that praying you made us do,” complained Maggie.

“And making us go to Mass. And starving us on Good Friday…

And making us feel ashamed of our bodies

and guilty about absolutely everything.

No, Ma, you were the pits.”

Nuala glowed with pride, truly she had been the best of Catholic mothers.”

- Marian Keyes

MAKE THIS MOTHER'S DAY IRISH AT HEART

Mother's day is that special day of the year when you get the chance to show your mother how much you appreciate all she does for you.

Or maybe you're that mother in which case you may like to send a link to this page to someone you know who is always last minute and, ahem, lacking in inspiration?

In any event, if you or your mother are of Irish heritage then imagine their surprise when they receive our Bealtine box of specially selected Irish gifts.  To find out more about what is inside this month's gift box click on this link.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

x
x